Pissed off & hurt at the same time..

Im sitting up on my laptop mad at the world. I just thought you were suppose to be my friend but it seems as though your really not I mean if you really were than you would understand what i mean when i say i don't want to hang around couples all weekend. But i guess not because all you keep thinking about is being happy with your boo. What about how i feel. Sitting here wanting to cry my eyes out while you sit in the room and talk shit under your breath. What the hell??  What kind of friend is that?
 

Some friend....

I have no idea what I was thinking when I decided to hangout with my ex, his current girlfriend, my suppose to be friend and her boo...and then there was me with nobody. Hung out at the mall and went out to dinner. The whole time I felt so out of place, but no one understood how I was feelings. My suppose to be friend acted as if I was overreacting. Like why the hell would I want to be the fifth wheel??? Something told me that I should have taken my butt home yesterday and I didn't. Well I think I've learned my lesson. Man it's funny how someone that's suppose to be your friend talks shit behind your back and acts like she's all that. Hell when you didn't have nobody I'm the one that was there...but now I'm going to move my little ass around. Shit friends come and go and I'd be damn if I sit around and kiss somebody ass to be my friend....I think I might have lost a friend today, because I don't accept people talking shit about me while I'm in the next room....

"Truth be told...Everything"

So instead of being honest about my feelings and just telling everyone how I truly feel I just tend to hold everything in until I just break. Today I had a mini break. I wish I knew how to just let everything out when it's happening but I find that hard. Every time some asks me if I'm okay. I say I'm fine or come up with a cleaver way to not tell them what's wrong. But in reality. Everything is wrong. Nothing is going right and honestly I'm lonely and I'm always sad. Everyday I't something new. Hell I'm trying to figure out why I'm alone on Valentine's day...I know why...because I left a good man, for a man who doesn't even know if he wants to be with me.....

What's a Girl to do?

Man I knew last week that when this day came I would cry my little eyes out, but for some reason I convienced myself that I wasn't going to cry. Man that was an epic fail...I came home from work and cried my eyes out. Truth be told I wish I could be with the love of my life, but that's not going to happen so I guess I'll stop being a cry baby and suck it up..Ugh sometimes guys make me sick.